Yoga Story

    I first practiced yoga in my bedroom as a teenager. My family kept well stocked bookshelves, and my father had a weathered paperback copy of Richard Hittleman’s Introduction to Yoga from the 1960’s and I practiced the poses and breathwork to help me relax and concentrate on schoolwork! As a teenager, I was a type-A overachiever and a night owl, and the yoga helped me to feel centered and calm while getting work done. I forgot about this in the hub-bub of my college years, until misfortune struck. I had been completing double honors majors in writing and international studies with a focus in the arts and social change. After a semester abroad in Mali, and a semester of service learning and studying Native American culture and literature in South Dakota, I was driven to create art instead of simply researching about it. My family thought this was a terrible idea and my academic advisors urged me to just finish my two challenging degrees instead of adding a third. I had extended arguments with all of them and transferred to Hampshire College, where faculty were excited about the hands-on, interdisciplinary nature of my research and production. This was emotionally and financially challenging - I worked two jobs on the side and had goals to complete all three majors (including the art almost in its entirety!) Still, I was inspired and hard working and loved painting so much I was in the studio 8 hrs a day. When I wasn’t at the easel I was reading, writing, playing music, crafting, or working as a nanny or RA. Then one day I woke up and couldn’t use my right hand. Shooting nerve pain, numbness, and the inability to grasp things struck halfway through my final year of school, when I was supposed to be completing my senior art thesis.

    Many medical tests were done to eliminate other possibilities - MS and ALS were possible as I was 21 when this occurred. Eventually, the medical establishment settled on a diagnosis of thoracic outlet syndrome. I have an extended transverse process on my C7 vertebrae which was compressing my ulnar nerve. We would find out almost two decades later, through tests at Hopkins, that it was also severely pinching my subclavian artery. Pain cycles were intense and in addition to numbness caused spasms of the entire upper right quadrant of my body as well as my arm and hand. I began attending physical therapy three times a week in an effort to regain use of my hand. In the meantime I am luckily a little ambidextrous. I was able to make some work and take care of myself using my clumsier left hand. To keep myself occupied and keep my creative spirits busy I joined a classmate’s senior project which was a butoh dance troupe. Part of our warm ups included yoga practices.

   The dance and yoga practices were healing, and with ongoing regular physical therapy (including forays into chiropractic, acupuncture, and massage) I was able to complete my MFA on scholarship and applied to jobs to teach art.  I focused on urban teaching programs because of the social justice aspect of bringing therapeutic art practices to a wide variety of children. This was a long journey in itself, and perhaps its own story. But after moving to Baltimore, I was able to begin taking yoga classes regularly at Charm City Yoga, particularly with Kim Manfredi, Meredith Wallace, Heather Hax, and Debbie Saag. Soon, I was attending 5 or more times a week, around my crazy teaching and night class schedule. I became a workstudy at the studio, took a lot of workshops to deepen my practice, and eventually enrolled in teacher training.  Because the practice helped me so much, I wanted to have the tools to lead myself in private practice even if economics prohibited regular class attendance. The training was transformative for me beyond a physical level, and I was hired to begin teaching at the studio before I completed training. I didn’t feel worthy of the appointment, but was told I was a natural teacher and serious about my practice.  

      Soon, I found teaching yoga to be a gift in and of itself.  My struggles with physical therapy for my arm (and later troubles with a congenital issues in my knee) have taught me a great deal about anatomy and modifications, but PT by itself did not heal me. A regular yoga practice has brought much greater healing. I love being in community and helping others, and the yoga studio community is a beautiful place to remind myself of the reasons I continue the practice. Teaching inspires me to keep learning and keep my practice fresh, and I enroll in master classes and teacher trainings a few times a year, as well as going on retreat at an ashram or yoga center at least once yearly, to connect to the deeper aspects of the practice and more experienced teachers.  The yoga practice is beautiful; as a way to connect to the self; to connect the mind and body; and to connect to a larger community of people on the same path. I have now been teaching for over 12 years and remain humble and grateful for the opportunity. I continue to strive to quiet the mind and find the path of right words, right thoughts, and right actions.   Om Namah Shivaya – it is all for the greater good, and it’s a blessing to be a vessel for the teachings.